Charmin Ultra - less is more

When I was younger, my P.E. teacher (remember calling them that since it stood for "Physical Education" which was entirely too long to pronounce?) used to call me Charmin, because my last name sorta sounded like it and, according to him, it rhymed. Not so. That's like when my Dad, growing up, first learned about rhyming words and said that "tin" and "can" rhyme.

Yesterday a commercial came on tv comparing Charmin Ultra to brand X of toilet paper, and how less of Charmin worked better at absorption than the other brand. That, I believed. Their scientific approach was a bunch of bullshit. They laid a piece of toilet paper down and spritzed it with a water solution that was tinted blue. After a few seconds (gotta love time lapse), they lifted it up, showed the Charmin still in tact, and showed that the surface below the Charmin was completely dry!!!!!!

Problems with said advertisement:
1) Who pees blue?
2) Who only pees the equivalent of about a split second of pee? Let's see the above example after a long night of drinking, followed up by the "next morning" pee.
3) What about poop? Are they going to throw a Baby Ruth on there and see if it's gonna hold up?
4) Who ever needs or wants to touch the surface anywhere near any piss, crap or anything coming out of "those" orafices? I don't give a shit if the counter is dryer than the other brand.... is there anything to do with toilet paper other than the following steps: a) wipe and b) flush?

Apparently the folks at Charmin are robots and have never experienced what going to the bathroom actually means. Talk about false advertisements. Yeah - you could say the ad bugged the shit out of me and really pissed me off.

Don't steal what's not really mine

I arrange music for a cappella groups. I have arranged for my groups in the past, arrange for my current group, and was fortunate enough to break into arranging for other groups and get paid for it. This isn't comprised of writing original songs, but taking another song, doing a "cover" of it, and arranging for anywhere from 4-11 part harmonies. As far as I know, there's no legal way to protect these arrangements, and I'm finding out that members from my old group (both in college and post-college) have basically taken my arrangements with them to other groups. It's an incredibly frustrating situation because there's no legal recourse, I honestly consider these people my friends, but in a way, since I can get paid for this, it's making me lose money. I had to send an e-mail asking all people I've ever sung with (this goes back over 10 years!) to ask them to just ask my permission first.

Welcome to "Super Anal Rentitive" side of me. Check your absent-mindedness and lack of attention to teeny weeny details at the door.

Avoid the "Danny & Pepper Jerk Express"

You'll understand the title when you reach #8 below. This entry is dedicated as the Top 10 Reasons You Know You're A True Foodie. Not a gourmet foodie, but just an unhealthy obsession with food, talking about food, reading and writing about it.

1) I read "Fast Food Nation" and yet I've been spotted with a McDonald's burger since that book.

2) I read "The Man Who Ate Everything" and thought "he could've eaten more - he didn't really eat EHHHHVERYTHING".

3) I watched "Supersize Me". Ditto to #2 about still having McD's every so often. I have even driven to the one drive-through McDonald's in Manhattan. Bet YOU don't know where it is.

4) I signed up on Zagat's to be a reviewer for them. Seriously. You submit a few reviews, even if/when they don't get published, and you get a free copy of the book. EVERY YEAR. I have the silliest Zagat's (Movies, Broadway shows, nightlife, etc)

5) One of my bookmarks: Eater - a site purely about NYC restaurants openings, closings, buzz, etc.

6) Chowhound - site for NY foodies to recommend what's good in what neighborhood, etc.

7) GOLDEN APPLE AWARD: These are given out by the NY Dept of Health Inspections. The NY Restaurant Inspection Lists are here - you can sort by zip code or by violation points too see what's REALLY gross.

8) My version is the GOLDEN SHITBOX AWARD: Follow-up to #7. I wasted time and wanted to see what restaurant in NYC got the worst rating based on violations. Danny and Pepper earned 193. You are in some serious shit if you get a 35 or worse. Don't worry, the DOHI closed 'em down.

9) I save my "fat" pants just in case I get REAAAAAALLLLY into food again.

10) Though a slightly "almost racist" statement (screw it - it's my blog) - what Jew do you know that doesn't love food? I can tell you which ones. The ones that LIE. Every gathering we have revolves around food. Hell - we have a freakin' HOLIDAY that centralizes around what certain foods symbolize all piled on one plate. AND - our holiday that asks us to be forgiven for our wrong-doings? We repent by NOT EATING.