Don't Be A Killjoy

Lately when I want to write on the blog, I can only think of depressing things to write about, like my grandmother who had a stroke 2 years ago and how it's hard for me to visit her, how I am stuck in a career crisis, how I want to help out friends but have to be selfish with my time... and I realized I'm such a killjoy for anyone reading my blog. This site serves two purposes: a) for me to have an outlet to write how I feel, and b) give some entertaining, informative, emotional, insightful, or just every day reading for those out there actually reading this. So I'll try to balance the "woe is me" entries with more uplifting or interesting ones.

Did you know my blog has an RSS feed? I can't remember what it stands for but you can bookmark the feed and then every time I post a new entry you can be alerted (usually just a number next to the bookmark as to the number of new entries). So just add a bookmark to this link and then you'll see mini blurbs of my latest entry. It is no frills, just text - and if I could explain it better I would but it's a cool feature. Neato.

How can one stranger fire me up so much?

I was in CVS with my husband buying light-bulbs. We were play-arguing over the wattage, and as he walked away, I said to him in a loud-ish voice something playful and joking. A woman is squatting below me, complete with her giant Louis Vuitton purse over her shoulder, and says "Ugh (that annoying "ugh" sound) - could you not yell?" so I said "So sorry you have such a bad attitude, that's not my fault." I don't get why, in the midst of having a perfectly good day, some bitch can come along and basically reprimand you for enjoying yourself too much. Nearly 24 hours later and I still want to slap her.

Coldplay Concert - the good and the bad

The bad: I put this first because it's the funny part. We were stuck next to a drunk asshole and his drunk girlfriend at Coldplay last night. Here's my list of the top 10 things NOT to do at a concert, all of which we actually experienced last night.

1) Do not put your garbage directly in front of my seat, so when I first arrive I have to kick it back over to your bitches' chair.
2) Do not raise your arms in the air every time you recognize a note and yell "WHOOOOOO" like you just won a fucking Oscar.
3) Do not dance with your girlfriend in the small space between our row and the row in front of you like it's a high school prom. Wrapping your arms around each other and doing the lambada is inexcusable, and I don't like your girlfriend's ass in my face while I'm sitting down.
4) Do not scream "you fucking moron" for the entire 2nd song of the set at your girlfriend, then ask the people behind you to shine their lighted cell phones in her purse while she tries to find her $70 Lenscrafter glasses that she lost.
5) Do not high-5 your friends when she finds them on the beer-stained floor and immediately puts them on her face without wiping them off.
6) Do not leave your girlfriend so you can "crash" the floor seats; she will cry and whine and generally be a killjoy for my listening pleasure.
7) Do not rip off your cheap Strawberry (yeah, you know the store) Brooklyn fake baseball jersey to reveal a wife-beater underneath.
8) Do not allow your drunk-ass girlfriend to lean over on our shared arm rest to put on her jacket, then seemingly punch me (oops) when she's trying to find the armhole for her arm to go through.
9) Do not try to pick a fight with skinny white dude behind you, simply because he was asking nicely for you to chill out a bit (this is when I realized sitting next to this asshole wasn't as bad as sitting behind him).
10) Do not ever attend a concert again, for the sorry people behind you and next to you will feel like they wasted their money as well.

The good: They played for about an hour and a half, played a lot of their best songs, and even did a few acoustic songs. During "Yellow" these giant yellow balloons fell from the ceiling of MSG, filled with confetti, and trying to bounce one to the front was like trying to catch a fly ball at Yankee Stadium. I got one good swing at one, accompanied by one total miss (looking like a flailing idiot as I tried to strike one that went past me).

Live - the band is great. Chris Martin sings sooooo well in concert, the music basically rocked out, and the visual effects (I usually hate the cheesy stuff bands do) were simple lighting and a cool screen behind the band with their images projected on it. At one point, they flashed "Get your camera ready" then did a countdown, then had this great effect, showed the audience on the screen, and cameras went off everywhere. I was the only goodie-two-shoes who really listened when they said not to bring cameras, but then again - a tiny flash will not light up the 20,000 person arena.

Feeling randomly old: Lighters have been replaced by cell phones. When a slow song came on, thousands of cell phones were held in the air with their phone lights on. I felt SOOOO old when this happened.

A stranger found my blog!

There was an article today in the Wall Street Journal about searching people's blogs, finding topics of interest to you, etc. With so many blogs out there, and with me feeling bad that only a few of my friends read mine on a regular (or even semi-regular) basis, I was SO excited today to get my first real post from a total stranger! A few days ago I got one from someone that basically spammed me (with a response like "Came across your blog and thought you'd like to see my pics"), but I think this person today is legitimate. Here's his blog, all about being afraid to fly. Apparently a search for aviophobia (mentioned in a post a while back from me) returns lots of people's blogs on the topic.

My first TRUE paid writing gig!

Ahhhhhhh.... I got my first paid writing gig as a beauty/fashion stringer (insert tremendous laughter here) for an online shopping web site/blog. The premise of the site is that you don't have time to scour the 'net for the latest trends and fashion deals or cool items, so 'we do it for you'. Yes - the same girl who still shops at Gap and Old Navy (hell yeah) and realized this weekend that my most frequently worn shorts are from 10th GRADE (that would be 13 years ago), will be writing about $700 jeans and $100 make-up products. So glad my creative writing will be put to good use.

It's the first time in years I feel somewhat validated that my brain's not going to waste and I am actually happy in the career direction I might be headed. I'm not ready to write "The Devil Wears Prada" but we'll see what comes of this. Big bucks? No way (closer to an illegal minimum wage!) but big personal reward? Some fun swag (makeup products I'll never use?)? Definitely.

Here's my first "application" review. I had to write about this specific pair of jeans that cost $695 and try to get some psycho women convinced that their worth purchasing.

If you do nothing else today...

Stop what you're doing, go to the Red Cross web site, and donate whatever you can, even if it's just $1, to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. It's so tempting to get in our car and drive down there, but everyone keeps saying that cash is the best way to help and volunteers aren't needed. At the same time, to hear Bush keep saying for over 48 hours that help is on the way is bullshit. How long does it take to fly a plane down or even drive a bus?

Do whatever you can to help.

I hate stupid people.

Our hiking trip out of town was amazing. In less than a week, I come back and learn to be an angry NY-er once again. I have been dealing with one doctor for 4 months over billing issues, none of which is my fault. I saw this doctor 3 times and just found out they have billed me for 4 visits (one was a fake visit, apparently). In addition, 2 of the 3 visits were regular office visits (insurance pays them $145 for it) and 1 visit was for a test (insurance pays them about $2000 for it). The office/secretary/billing department/stupid person billed the insurance company 4 TIMES for 1 TEST! It's either a stupid mistake, major insurance company fraud, or (what they tell me) "computer problems". Either way, I keep getting billed my silly little co-pay and have to deal with this every few weeks. Stupid people.