Prediction: bye bye, singing group

Another member of my a cappella group quit last night. I've had many people talk to me saying they hope I don't quit, but the reality is I've made the decision, am sticking to it - but in my heart I want what's best for the group and between now and when I leave. Out of 10 old members (sadly, we just took 3 new ones in the fall), I know every last one of us has considered, some more strongly than others, to leave the group. What makes me more upset is that I've put so much time and effort into the group, probably more than anyone else, and yet I feel totally responsible for the demise of us. Fucking sucks, but no one seems to understand that when I wanted things to head in another direction, the direction we are currently in seems to be what's tearing us apart in the first place. I'm stuck in the middle of "I need to let go of control" and "people need to step up to the plate to help" but the reality is, I'm not sure how easy it is to make either one happen seeing as people don't have 5 seconds to copy music and 'volunteer to help'. The irony is, at the start of the downfall, this was when we recorded our CD. We had a meeting at one member's apartment about who would mix the CD. I said I did not want to do it or be involved and wanted others to step up and get involved so it could be a group effort. I was quickly told, "No - as the director you need to mix." I NEED to. How quickly everyone forgot that I didn't want to do it in the first place. That really pisses me off as I write this.

Can you say "drama"?

I just hope when I leave they're all not saying "Wow we're so much better off without her". At least I still have my friends I've made in the group and they're still going to be my friends.

I also hope for the readers of my blog they aren't bored to tears by this entry, since the dynamics of an a cappella group affect about 0.0000000004% of the population.